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“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” – Jim Rohn.
Your closest circle reflects who you are and who you will become. It’s so important that the people you spend the most time demonstrate who you want to be.
Outgrowing your friends can feel like the end of a chapter in your life and you might not know how to navigate it.
Keep reading to spot signs you have outgrown your friends and how to deal with it.
7 signs you’ve outgrown your friends
1 Conversations are forced
When you talk to certain people, you feel like you could talk for hours! The conversation never dries up and you don’t run out of things to say.
Notice if you are struggling to find conversation starters and don’t feel like you have anything in common with them anymore.
2 You don’t like who you are with them
I knew I’d outgrown my friends when I didn’t like who I was around them. I wasn’t me; I was just who they wanted me to be.
They didn’t bring out the best in me, in fact they bought out the worst in me and held me back.
If you have friends making you feel this way, they need to go!
3 You feel pressured to do what they want to do
When was the last time you did anything with your friends that was your idea, or that you wanted to do? I bet you can’t recall it.
Anytime you suggest what you can do, watch to see if you get shut down or dismissed.
4 They make you feel uncomfortable
Warning: this is the most heart-breaking sign you have outgrown your friends.
Look out for feelings of being on edge, not able to relax or just simply feeling uncomfortable. These are major tell-tale signs that you must move on!
5 You feel like they’re holding you back
Similarly, to not liking who you are with them, the feeling that they are holding you back is a big warning sign that these friends aren’t for you anymore.
If you feel like you can’t grow into who you’re meant to be, you have to do what’s best for you.
6 You hate spending time with them
If you’re not comfortable around then anymore, you don’t like who you are with them and they don’t bring out the best in you, I can guarantee you’re always dreading the “What you up to? Shall we hang out?” text.
Thankfully, whenever I was put on the spot, my mum would always come to the rescue, pulling out the “we’re going to your aunts” card, because if I said no, all hell broke loose.
7 Hanging out with them feels like an obligation
The times when you don’t have a valid excuse not to hang out, you’re not going to chill with them because you WANT to, you’re doing it because you HAVE to.
It makes your life that little bit easier not having to deal with the drama it brings.
8 Your priorities aren’t the same
If you love dogs and romcoms, the chances are, you probably aren’t going to hang out with people who love cats and Sci-Fi’s. I mean, you might! But if we’re talking about probability, it leans towards unlikely.
This applies to your priorities. If your priorities working out, eating clean, reading and your friends love to go out drinking late, getting takeaways all the time and binging Netflix, why try and fit that mould anymore? Don’t you see it’s just holding you back?
What to do if you have outgrown your friends
Disclaimer: If we are being completely transparent, I’m probably not the best person to answer this, but I’m going to give you my experience and alternative options you can do that are probably, most definitely better if you are braver than me 😳.
So, what did I do?
My masterful plan went something like this:
Step 1: Distance yourself
Step 2: Ghost them
I told you I wasn’t the best person to answer this.
The reality is that I HATE drama and those people brought SO much drama into my life. I was too scared to have a mature conversation about it because I knew it wouldn’t be ‘mature’ or go down well. They wouldn’t understand.
How can you do it better?
Couple of options:
- Have the “it’s not you, it’s me” conversation that I was too scared to have.
- Change your identity, move to another continent, go completely off the grid. (I like this one.)
- Cut your losses and move on – DON’T dwell.
Realising that you’ve outgrown your friends can feel odd.
You may experience some of the following doubts:
- “Am I being pretentious?”
- “Who do I think I am to think I’m better than them?”
- “It’s probably easier to stay friends”
But if they don’t bring you peace or joy, please move on.
Imagine your life 1 year in the future from now, you’ve removed those toxic influences in your life, and you’ve surrounded yourself with people who make you become better. Hold onto that.